The Caboose

Don't ever make the mistake of trying to tell God what to do. I remember saying after Jay, "I am so done". But for those of you who have a relationship with the Lord, you know He will accomplish his will and purpose. He was not done. And I am so thankful for that now!! Shortly after Jay, I found out I was pregnant. After getting over the shock, I thought ok this is my girl. I began my third pregnancy pretty much the same as the others... in the bathroom for the first trimester, and on my back for the 3rd trimester. This one was kind of tough. My blood pressure was a real issue, but we were doing ok. I went to second sonogram, you know the one where you can see "blue or pink". Well we had decided not to find out, and I never asked the sonographer, but after 2 boys, I guess you kind of know what to look for. We did not find out with Jay and he was a complete surprise, but I had a sneak peek, so I knew this was not my girl. Greg still didn't know so he was surprised. Now I know that God knew better what I needed. I have no clue what I would do with a girl. Well, anyway, we were at some friends of ours and I started feeling "funny". I was 3 weeks away from my due date, but we went to the hospital anyway. I was having contractions, but more than that, my blood pressure was spiking. So they kept me and at the soonest moment the doctor thought was safe, we did the c section. Number three. Russell Hughes Fleming. He was just beautiful. Until he was born, I never knew how far love could stretch. I finally understood how you can truly love 3 children and love them each with all your heart. It was amazing. Unlike the other two, Hughes went straight to the NICU and I went straight on a magnesium pump. I was not allowed out of bed for 48 hours and Hughes was not allowed out of the NICU. It was excruciating not to be able to see him. I will never forget when they finally took me off of the mag drip. It was 2 am and the nurse barely got the IV out of my arm before I was headed to see my precious baby. He was so fragile, but a good size. As soon as I held him, I felt complete. My three precious, rowdy boyz.....

Blessing #2

Well, when Gavin was 4, I got married and shortly after, God decided to add a second little blessing to our lives. I thought, I have been through this once, no biggie, hey... I got this. What I didn't seem to remember is that I was older and fatter than I was with my first pregnancy and let me tell you it makes a difference. I stayed exhausted throughout my pregnancy, but I relished all the fun parts. You would think that the second time around would be less exciting, but hearing the heartbeat for the first time, the fluttering in my belly, the kicking and sonograms... it was like the first time ever. It is such an amazing feeling to know life is growing right inside you. Of course my life would not be complete with out drama. So in true fashion, little Jay brought some with his arrival. Greg and I had only been married for a little over a year and we were sharing a vehicle. That morning I went to my scheduled doctor's appointment and I told him to just stay home because it was just a check up and no big deal. It would only take a minute. Wellll, somebody had other plans. I found out upon seeing my doctor, that I was in fact in labor. Since the baby was so big and I had a c section with Gavin, we had already decided that was the best choice for this delivery too. Needless to say I had to get to the hospital quickly. I called Greg and in a panic he grabbed all our bags only to walk outside and remember I had the car. He started making phone calls, but thankfully our neighbor, who happened to be a Ridgeland police officer passed the house and saw Greg looking perplexed with all the bags and he raced Greg to the hospital. I think he even used his blue lights. (how exciting.) He made it there just in time to help me get settled and prepped for surgery and on July 8, 2005, Gregory Jay Fleming, III made is world wide debut. He is precious and beloved by many including the proudest big brother in the world....

And so it begins....

I am a late blogger, I guess you could say. I am beginning this blog as my youngest of three children is about to turn 2. But better late than never, right. I will go, for a moment, back to the beginning of my life as a mother, because if I go back further than that, well... That is a whole other blog. Anyway here we go..... I was in my early 20's flying through life with out much thought of any one other than myself. I thought I had the world by the tail as I skipped school, stayed out too late and generally made really stupid decisions. My biggest worry in life was if my nail polish looked good with whatever open toed shoes I was wearing. Tough life, huh? Little did I know just how drastically my life was going to change. One afternoon, after buying out all the EPT tests at a local drug store, I finally came to terms with the fact that I was....Oh my gosh....pregnant. I can still see my brother's face when I told him. He actually laughed at me. Since we were roommates and all my partying had kept him up for far too many frustrating nights, I guess, to him it was poetic justice. But after he realized how scared I was he said, "Well, I guess you better call mom!" And in a conversation that I was sure would end with her strangling me, I gave my mother the terrifying news. She told me she loved me and that there was nothing we could not get through. And with that my journey began. I was single, I was immature, and I was petrified. I had no clue that this would be the hardest and single most life changing event in my 23 years of living. I will never forget the support of my family during this time. Especially my brother. He drove the nursing staff crazy making sure they were doing all they could for me. Yep, the same brother that laughed at me, slept on the hard hospital floor and offered me ice chips for more than 15 hours as his precious nephew entered this world. On June 28, 1999 my Gavin was born. I looked at that creation and for the first time, I knew my life meant something, that God could use a vessel as filthy and rebellious as me to shelter one of His most prized possessions. All those years I had searched for love in all the wrong ways, suddenly faded, because I knew that I had found the truest expression of love in my son. I am quite certain that he came here with more wisdom than most adults and for 9 incredible years, I have learned many lessons from him. We get so wrapped up in teaching our children lessons, that sometimes we miss out on the many lessons we can learn from them. Since that very day, I have never doubted God's love for me. He could have allowed me to self destruct from the lifestyle I was living. He could have let me go, but instead He chose to change my life and show me His grace in the most amazing way. There is no doubt in my mind that the red, screaming, wrinkled little angel saved my life and God has been using him to save it ever since.